


kiibo safe-zone

by k2_b0



Series: Hope's Peak Academy is Gay [1]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: BUT HE LIVES, F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi, Recreational Drug Use, Weed, a lot of vulgar talk but no actual sex happens?, i mean i used first names for simplicity but still. even that killed me, i used the word dick a lot at least, i would let harukawa shoot me with a crossbow, its very hard to remember that this is not an oumota fic, kiibo lowkey dies, let! me! use! the! u!, ouma is actually pure in this fic bc its non despair? he's still a brat tho, pls it's ouma not oma, references to obscure media, rip momota, tags will be added as characters appear too, tags will be added as ships appear lol, the ships aren't decided for sure but im leaning towards these
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-08
Updated: 2018-09-14
Packaged: 2019-03-02 08:23:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13314273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/k2_b0/pseuds/k2_b0
Summary: Get sprung: Fuck getting permission. I'm killing him myselfX: whatGet sprung:X: WHAT





	1. a mistake is born

**Author's Note:**

> lol this was a bad idea
> 
> i should be working on my other chatfic for p5 but i decided that ive ghosted the ndrv3 tag for too long >:( so here's my contribution [btw oumas name is a reference to DICE? i love that manhwa and i thought it was funny lol]

  
{ _2:23 AM - Thursday_ }

  
~ _**X** has added 15 others to the chat _ ~

  
~ _**X** has changed 15 names _ ~

  
~ _**X** has changed the chat name to **"bussy"**_ ~

 

 **X:** welcome 2 the chat guys lololol

  
**Granddaddy Longleg:** What is this?

  
**Granddaddy Longleg:** I. What is that awful username?

  
**Atua sux:** Angie hates it already

  
**Emo:** How do I change my name again?

  
**flat earther:** Wtf

  
**Mom:** Kokichi, can you explain what this chat is?

  
**X:** um obviously it's

  
**Get sprung:** Shit.

  
**X:** the best

  
**X:** excuse me

  
**Les bien:** User "Get sprung" murders degenerate male for the happiness of us all

  
**flat earther:** I hate three things in this life: flat earthers, assholes, and Ouma Kokichi. Yet somehow, all three of those things have been put into this chat. Fuck this chat. Fuck you Kokichi.

  
**Emo:** Kaito?

  
**X:** I'm glad that Kaito loves me so much!!!!!! I love u too!

  
**dick piercing:** wow i just logged on and i see ive been cheated upon

  
**Emo:** D. Dick piercing

  
**dick piercing:** im rantarou lol

  
**flat earther:** Dude do you have a dick piercing ?

  
**Mom:** I think we're getting off topic here.

  
**Mom:** Kokichi, what is the meaning of this?

  
**X:** oh worm ?

  
**X:** well im p sure the seniors don't have a chat so i wanted us to be original

  
**X:** nishishi.... dont you want us to be the closest class? im sure that kaede wants us to !!

  
**Get sprung:** Did you just type out your fucking laugh.

  
**Emo:** Urgh

  
**Bill Cipher:** nyeh,,,,, kaede is shuuichi's weakness,,,,,,,,, its a critical hit,,,,,,,,

  
**Les bien:** HIMIKO!!!!!!

  
**Bill Cipher:** tenko,,,,,, hi,,,,,,

  
**Les bien:** How are you!!!! None of these degenerates have touched you, right??? If they have, tell Tenko and she'll break every one of their disgusting fingers!

  
**Bill Cipher:** nobodys touched me,,,,,,,,, and im pretty sure that's assault,,,,,,,,,

  
**flat earther:** Are you gonna type like that the whole time or..?

  
**Bill Cipher:** nyeheheh,,,,,,,,, yes,,,,,,,

  
**Nonsense speaker:** I saw my name mentioned earlier?

  
**Nonsense speaker:** Whats up with this username lol?

  
**Emo:** Hey Kaede!

  
**Nonsense speaker:** ???????? Shuuichi?

  
**Emo:** Yeah haha

  
**Nonsense speaker:** Whats going on here????

  
**flat earther:** Kokichi added us to a shitty chat

  
**X:** Mean Kaito!!! Don't call it shitty!

  
**X:** besides! im not hurting anybody!!!!! i just made a chat to boost our friendships or whatever! there's no harm in that!

  
**COCKroach:** Um.... Gonta hate to ask but what does "bussy" mean?

  
**Nonsense speaker:** ......

  
**X:** D:

  
**Mom:** Gonta, "bussy" is another word for "spaghetti".

  
**dick piercing:** terrible excuse

  
**COCKroach:** Oh!!!! Gonta love eating bussy!!!!

  
**X:** GXSFCGFFGXFV

  
**flat earther:** FUCKIGUFHDFF

  
**one inch tall:** I JJST CHOKWDVY

  
**dick piercing:** EVEN RYOUMA IS LAUGHUNGD

  
**COCKroach:** Oh no! Did Gonta say something wrong?

  
**Nonsense speaker:** No honey you did nothing wrong! It was all Kokichi's fault

  
**X:** YOURE BLAMINGGJG ME

  
**X:** I WASBNT EXPECTINGJFIG IT

  
**Mom:** You created the chat and the names, which means that, yes. You are to blame here.

  
**Les bien:** Kirumi! Do you want Tenko to kill him?

  
**Mom:** No thank you, Tenko. You don't have to.

  
**Get sprung:** Fuck getting permission. I'm killing him myself

  
**X:** what

  
**Get sprung:**

  
**X:** WHAT

  
**flat earther:** Finally. The evil is defeated.

  
**Atua sux:** Angie has been praying for this for a long time!

  
**Get sprung:** Hes not in his room.

  
**dick piercing:** that's bc hes in my room haha

  
**X:** wow and to think i once loved you

  
**Emo:** You two flirt so much that I can't tell if you're dating or trying to assert your gay dominance

  
**X:** why not both ;))))

  
**Emo:** What

  
**dick piercing:** yeah what

  
**one inch tall:** sorry to interrupt but what is that awful fucking music

  
**Emo:** ?

  
**one inch tall:** have i lost the little sanity i had left what the hell

  
**Nonsense speaker:** No no no I hear it too?

  
**flat earther:** WTF IS THAT

  
**Bill Cipher:** is it coming from the vents,,,,?

  
**Granddaddy Longleg:** No, it can't be.

  
**Emo:** How are you so sure?

  
**Granddaddy Longleg:** Just trust me.

  
**Les Bien:** Tenko doesn't trust like that

  
**Get sprung:** Alright they locked the fucking door AND im 90% the "music" is coming from in there? I'm fucking infuriated and cant break the goddamn thing because of Jin Kirigiri's fucking security measures

  
**Get sprung:** And the music thing is so much worse because the rooms are soundproof. They are soundproof. How fucking LOUD are you two PLAYING THAT SHIT

  
**flat earther:** Lol babe calm down

  
**one inch tall:** "babe"

  
**Get sprung:** Call me babe one more time and I'm cutting off your dick

  
**flat earther:** I see.

  
**flat earther:** Lol Maki calm down

  
**Granddaddy Longleg:** I hate to be the one to say this but. Maybe they're, ahem,

  
**Granddaddy Longleg:** Indulging in each other? That would certainly explain the music, as well as the locked door.

  
**dick piercing:** we aren't fucking, kiyo jfc? hes just playing daft punk songs while i paint his nails god you guys

  
**X:** uuu yucky! i love my beloved rantarou but ew! he's probably circumcised which is :///

  
**one inch tall:** what the fuck

  
**X:** you think id let a circumcised man fuck me ?????? icky!!

  
**dick piercing:** idk what to say about this

  
**flat earther:** A dick piercing and you're circumcised?

  
**dick piercing:** why does the convo always go back to my dick what the fuck

  
**dick piercing:** and wtf is this prejudice against circumcised dicks

  
**X:** it's bc rantarous dick is the sun to our earth! all providing and perfe

  
~ _**Emo** has kicked **X** from the chat _ ~

  
**flat earther:** HE WAS SNIPED

  
**Emo:** I FINALLY FIGURED IT OUT!

  
**Emo:** Here guys! I'll change your names if you want me to! Just tell me and I'll do it

  
**one inch tall:** god yes change this fucking name

  
~ _**Emo** has changed **one inch tall** 's name to **Ryouma**_ ~

  
**Emo:** Who else?

  
**flat earther:** change mine to AstroBoy!!

  
~ _**Emo** has changed **flat earther** 's name to **AstroBoy**_ ~

  
**Get sprung:** Change mine too.

  
~ _**Emo** has changed **Get sprung** 's name to **Maki**_ ~

  
**Nonsense speaker:** I don't really get it but? I kind of like this name

  
**Bill Cipher:** nyeh,,,,,,, ive seen the show,,,,,,,, bill is pretty cool,,,,,,,,,,

  
**Les bien:** Just like you, Himiko!!!!!

  
**Les bien:** Oh, and even though a degenerate male changed her username to this, Tenko is keeping the name

  
**Mom:** I guess this will be fine for now. At the very least it's semi-accurate.

  
**Granddaddy Longleg:** Change this hellish name, please.

  
~ _**Emo** has changed **Granddaddy Longleg** 's name to **Kiyo**_ ~

  
**Atua sux:** Angie hates this name as much as God hates all of you.

  
**AstroBoy:** FUCK

  
~ _**Emo** has changed **Atua sux** 's name to **Angie**_ ~

  
**Angie:** Angie hates this name too wtf

  
**Emo:** Lllook im tryijg ok

  
**Maki:** Is he crying

  
**Angie:** :/

  
**Nonsense speaker:** Shuuichi is a weak boy pls apologize Angie!

  
**Emo:** I.. Im not that weak....

  
**Angie:** Hes not even crying  >:(

  
**Nonsense speaker:** :///////////

  
**COCKroach:** Gonta doesn't understand why cock is in big letters but he likes his name!!!!

  
~ _**Emo** has changed **COCKroach** 's name to **Grasshopper**_ ~

  
**Emo:** Gonta, do you like this one more?

  
**Grasshopper:** Gonta likes all the names that his friends give!!!

  
**Nonsense speaker:** honey.........

  
**Les bien:** We are killing the small degenerate for tainting our only good degenerate

  
**Hoshi:** i know you're not talking about me but that still upset me for reasons i don't understand

  
**Les bien:** It's because you're a small degenerate too, scum

  
**Hoshi:** i see.

  
**Hoshi:** im probably not on your "to kill" list yet but uhhhhh can you fucking do it anyways

  
~ _**Les bien** haskicked **Hoshi** from the chat_ ~

  
**AstroBoy:** Ryouma probably just typed out thanks from the ether jfc

  
**watashi wa is kawaii desu ne~~~~!!!!:** Hey!!!!! Why is my school pad making so much noise during my bleach binge ?!?!?  >:((

  
**watashi wa is kawaii desu ne~~~~!!!!:** What the heck

  
**watashi wa is kawaii desu ne~~~~!!!!:** What is this name ?

  
**watashi wa is kawaii desu ne~~~~!!!!:** Have I been transported to the shadow realm?

  
**watashi wa is kawaii desu ne~~~~!!!!:** Oh no.......

  
**dick piercing:** change my name to guacamole pls shuuichi

  
**Emo:** Alright!

  
~ _**Emo** has changed **dick piercing** 's name to **guacamole**_ ~

  
**watashi wa is kawaii desu ne~~~~!!!!:** Oh we're changing names?

~ _**watashi wa is kawaii desu ne~~~~!!!!** has changed their name to **Suzalulu**_ ~

  
**Suzalulu:** Much better!

  
**Emo:** Who's left to get their name changed???

  
**Emo:** Oh

  
~ _**Emo** has changed their name to **PanicMania**_ ~

  
**PanicMania:** :-)

  
**Nonsense speaker:** Um Shuuichi are you okay?

  
**PanicMania:** :,-)))) yes

  
**AstroBoy:** I just vomited blood and it wasn't bc of the obvious reasonggdghhh

  
**Grasshopper:** Oh no! Is Kaito okay??

  
**Maki:** Yeah aside from the fact that he's gay af for Shuuichi

  
**AstroBoy:** HARUMAKI DELETE THISG

  
~ _**Maki** has changed their name to **Delete yourself**_ ~

  
**Delete yourself:** But other than that fine

  
**Delete yourself:** It's gone

  
**Suzalulu:** Hehehehe

  
**AstroBoy:** Do Not

  
**guacamole:** my whole dick is standing straight up just at the revelation of that info

  
**guacamole:** i mean i already knew but still

  
**AstroBoy:** Literally shut your fuck

  
**Beepity Boppity Boop:** Hello everyone! Me and Miu just finished a repair!

  
**Beepity Boppity Boop:** What?

  
**Beepity Boppity Boop:** I apologize for not knowing but.... what is going on with my screenname?

  
**Nonsense speaker:** Kokichi

  
**Beepity Boppity Boop:** Ah. I see.

  
**BOOB:** KYAHAHAHA

  
**BOOB:** WHATS UP SLUTS!!!!!!

  
**BOOB:** ITS YOUR FUCKIN QUEEN, THE AMAZING IRUMA MIU

  
**Grasshopper:** Okay! Goodnight everyone!

  
~ _**Grasshopper** has gone offline _ ~

  
**AstroBoy:** Gonta just noped the fuck out hggbhgd

  
**Delete yourself:** Me too. Bye.

  
~ _**Delete yourself** has gone offline _~

  
**BOOB:** IS MY OVERWHELMING AURA KNOCKING OUT ALL YOU PUSSIES??

  
**BOOB:** OR IS IT THAT YOU PERVS CAN SEE MY TITS IN YOUR HEADS AND ITS MAKING YOU SHAKE WI

  
~ _**PanicMania** has kicked **BOOB** from the chat _ ~

  
**PanicMania:** Um oops

  
**Angie:** SHSL sniper

  
**Nonsense speaker:** I.... wouldn't usually say this but

  
**Nonsense speaker:** Thank you for kicking her

  
**Mom:** I also give you my thanks.

  
**Mom:** But while I am thankful, I must also request that you all go to sleep.

  
**Mom:** It's almost 4 AM......

  
**Suzalulu:** Σ（ﾟдﾟlll）

  
**Nonsense speaker:** Omg? I thought it was still 2 something....

  
**PanicMania:** I dont think I should lose anymore sleep so um night guys!

  
**AstroBoy:** Night Shuuichi!

  
**PanicMania:** Goodnight!

  
~ _**PanicMania** has gone offline_ ~

  
**guacamole:** not me lol kokichi wants to watch duck tales

  
**guacamole:** but im going offline at least

  
~ _**guacamole** has gone offline _ ~

  
**Les bien:** Most of the degenerates have gone offline now !

  
**Bill Cipher:** i think im going to sleep too,,,,,,,,, i only woke up to see what was happening,,,,,,,,

  
**Angie:** Nyahahaha!! God is telling Angie that it's time for her to go to bed~! Goodnight Tenko and Himiko!!

  
**Les bien:** !!!!! Goodnight Angie!

  
**Bill Cipher:** nyeh,,,,, night,,,,,,

  
**Angie:** :333

  
~ _**Angie** has gone offline_ ~

  
**Bill Cipher:** night tenko,,,,,,

  
**Les bien:** Goodnight Himiko!

  
~ _**Bill Cipher** has gone offline_ ~

  
**Mom:** I would advise that everyone else leaves as well. We have class tomorrow, after all.

  
**AstroBoy:** FUCK

  
**AstroBoy:** Shit Im goin to sleep. Night y'all

  
~ _**AstroBoy** has gone offline_ ~

  
**Suzalulu:** Im going to keep watching Bleach! Bye everyone!

  
~ _**Suzalulu** has gone offline_ ~

  
**Beepity Boppity Boop:** I believe I should log off as well! Goodnight everyone!

  
**Nonsense speaker:** Night Kiibo!

  
~ _**Beepity Boppity Boop** has gone offline_ ~

  
**Kiyo:** I see that almost everyone else has logged off now.

 **Kiyo:** That means that I have no purpose in being here. Goodnight everyone.

  
~ _**Kiyo** has gone offline_ ~

  
 **Mom:** Tenko and Kaede? You two should log off and go to sleep as well.

  
**Nonsense speaker:** Oh! I'm about to haha I was just waiting for everyone else to go to sleep

  
**Nonsense speaker:** I guess we're sort of both the class moms! You're a lot better at keeping everyone in line, though

  
**Les bien:** Tenko was waiting for all of the degenerates to be gone!

  
**Les bien:** If she fell asleep and let Kaede and Kirumi get harassed then she doesn't know what she'd do!

  
**Nonsense speaker:** !!! Thank you Tenko! But you can go to sleep now ! All of the boys are gone now!

  
**Les bien:** !

  
**Les bien:** Goodnight Kaede & Kirumi!

  
**Mom:** Goodnight, Tenko.

  
**Nonsense speaker:** Night!

  
~ _**Les bien** has gone offline_ ~

  
**Nonsense speaker:** Well, I guess that I'll be going too! See you um. Later today!

  
**Mom:** Goodnight, Kaede :)

  
**Nonsense speaker:** :)))

  
~ _**Nonsense speaker** has gone offline _ ~

  
**Mom:** Motherhood smh

  
~ _**Mom** has gone offline_ ~


	2. we've got a mystery on our hands

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> guacamole: don't fight me on this tsu 
> 
> Suzalulu: I will fight you on this until you die, coward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> devilman spoilers in this chapter so uhh watch out i guess ? sry i just can't stop myself from referencing things haha
> 
> and UHHHH i was planning on having this done earlier but i had so much shit to do that it isn't even funny :/ 
> 
> the things i had to do include but are not limited to: completing 3 projects, studying for exams, and taking said exams ! i am very stressed right now !! but anyways enjoy this rushed trainwreck :-)

 

{ _4:20 PM - Friday_ }

  
**"bussy"**

  
**guacamole:** haha 420

  
**AstroBoy:** Of course you'd be the one to point that out

  
**guacamole:** what can i say? im a real weedman at heart

  
**Beepity Boppity Boop:** But deep down.... aRen't we all weedmen?

  
**Nonsense speaker:** Kiibo?

  
**Beepity Boppity Boop:** YEs.?

  
**Nonsense speaker:** Um

  
**Beepity Boppity Boop:** IiM sorrY kawde??? ? mI seem tO be mAlfunctionhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

  
~ _**Beepity Boppity Boop** has added_ _**BOOB** to the chat_ ~

  
**BOOB:** i am motherfucker

  
**Kiyo:** Oh God.

  
**Nonsense speaker:** Miu?

  
**BOOB:** ye tiddymatsu that's me

  
**Nonsense speaker:** Uh

  
**Beepity Boppity Boop:** GgggHGGGGHGHHHHHHJJJNN

  
**BOOB:** what the fuck

  
**guacamole:** kiibo is dying

  
**X:** wrong. hes already dead and i was the one who killed him

  
**AstroBoy:** GGGGGHGHG

  
**Les bien:** HOW THE FUCK

  
**X:** （╹◡╹）♡。

  
**X:** i teleported!!!!!!

  
**BOOB:** u blackmailed me to do it u fuckin twink

  
**BOOB:** n if u put ur greasy little gremlin hands on kiibs im removing them from the rest of u

  
**BOOB:** cant touch urself without ur fuckin hands so good luck

  
**X:** im shaking in my men's guccis

  
**X:** & why would i need to touch myself when rantarou can do it for me hehe

  
**guacamole:** type "hehe" again and im breaking up with you

  
**X:** hheh

  
**guacamole:** okay i guess

  
**Nonsense speaker:** Anyways Im guessing that Kokichi isn't the one who messed with Kiibo this time???

  
**Kiyo:** Don't doubt his evil.

  
**Kiyo:** Need I remind you all of the Kool Aid Man incident?

  
**PanicMania:** No, I think we remember it pretty well

  
**PanicMania:** Makoto couldn't get the stains out of his uniform, even with Kirumi's help

  
**X:** in my defense i was aiming to hit byakuya so????

  
**Delete yourself:** Defense accepted. He's an asshole.

  
**BOOB:** but that doesn't clear the twink's name

  
**Nonsense speaker:** Kiibo can you tell us who did it?

  
**Beepity Boppity Boop:** GCVGVVVVVVVVVVVV Pudsy G B

  
**Nonsense speaker:** I guess not

  
**Angie:** lol angie too

  
~ **_A_** _ **ngie** has changed their name_   _to **Atitty**_ ~

  
**BOOB:** yo hol up ? we cant do any of our meme shit till we find out who fucked our robot

  
**X:**

  
**Nonsense speaker:** Don't

  
**X:** :-/

  
**Atitty:** Well, Angie thinks that everyone should be gathered here! We can hold a trial to find the culprit!!!

  
**Suzalulu:**!!!!! Good idea Angie !

  
~ _**Suzalulu** has changed their name_   _to **Wrightworth** _ ~

  
**Wrightworth:** Hmmmmmmm......... Kaede is our leader so she heads the trial!

  
**Nonsense speaker:** Huh?????

  
**Nonsense:** No no!!! I think Shuuichi should do it!

  
**PanicMania:** Why me??????

  
**Nonsense speaker:** I believe in you Shuu!!!!

  
**PanicMania:** _Again, Why me?_

  
**Nonsense speaker:** I died so you've got to carry on my legacy

  
**guacamole:** damn. how'd u die?

  
**AstroBoy:** She played the piano too much lol

  
**Hoshi:** huh. i was guessing the gallows

  
**Bill Cipher:** why the gallows,,,,,?

  
**Les bien:** HIMIKO!!!!!!

  
**Bill Cipher:** hey tenko,,,,,,,

  
**X:** it's because she killed my beloved rantarou!!!!

  
**PanicMania:** Kaede would never!!!!

  
**Delete yourself:** I bet it was Tsumugi who killed him

  
**Wrightworth:** Ehh?!??!? Why me!!?!

  
**Delete yourself:** Don't think I didn't notice you giving him dirty looks after he called Ryo/Akira an abusive ship

  
**Wrightworth:** MAKI THEY LOVED EACH OTHER

  
**Wrightworth:** RANTAROU IS AN IDIOT IF HE THINKS ITS ABUSIVE

  
**guacamole:** RYO WAS LITERALLY SATAN YOU WEEB OF COURSE ITS ABUSIVE HE DESTROYED THE ENTIRE EARTH

  
**Wrightworth:** RYO WANTED HIM TO LIVE AND THEN CRIED OVER HIS CORPSE

  
**guacamole:** THAT DOESNT MAKE IT HEALTHY WTF

  
**PanicMania:** I see what you mean, Maki.....

  
**Delete yourself:** Yeah

  
**BOOB:** we're wasting so much damn time solving a murder that didn't even happen when we should be FINDING OUT WHO FUCKED WITH KIIBS

  
**Nonsense speaker:** Miu is right, guys!

  
**Nonsense speaker:** Wow um never thought I'd say that sentence

  
**guacamole:** drag her hkhhj

  
**BOOB:** Fuck You Bitch Motherfucker

  
**Beepity Boppity Boop:** FucK as s

  
**X:** that's right kiiboy!!!! fuck ass!

  
**Grasshopper:** Is everyone gathering? Gonta want to join!

  
**Mom:** I wouldn't exactly like to join, but someone has to watch the kids.

  
**Nonsense speaker:** Wait, is this everyone?

  
**X:** hmmmm,,, role call ?

  
**Mom:** No need. I believe that everyone is online at the moment. At least, everyone has spoken recently.

  
**Nonsense speaker:**!!!! Kirumi, you're so reliable!

  
**guacamole:** that's gay

  
**X:** yea. that's so gay lol

  
**guacamole:** babe.......

  
**X:** hubby...........

  
**Nonsense speaker:** "That's gay lol"

  
**Hoshi:** true wlw mlm soliditary

  
**Wrightworth:** Guys!!!!!! We've still got to find out who killed Kiibo!!! So shut your mouths!!! Shuuichi, start the trial !

  
**X:** my finger mouths are sealed

  
**Wrightworth:** gun emoji

  
**AstroBoy:** Why did you type out gun emoji instead of sending it

  
**Wrightworth:** The gun emoji was removed forever ago, you normie! I can't use it!

  
**X:** if only you had a real gun .... id get you to shoot miu :(

  
**BOOB:** WHY ME WHAT THE FUCK

  
**PanicMania:** Um, anyways. I'm afraid that Tsumugi is going to murder me if I don't "start the trial" so. Well.

  
**PanicMania:** We can tell that Kiibo is malfunctioning, which means that it's either an internal glitch or that it was caused by an external source

  
**BOOB:** no shit sherlock

  
**Atitty:** God thinks that Miu should shut her finger mouths!

  
**BOOB:** eee

  
**PanicMania:** So, uh.... that's all we know right now. Did anyone see Kiibo after class? We need to gather alibis and evidence

  
**X:** ooohh, alibis!!!! i was with mom the whoooole time after class!

  
**Mom:** Ah, that's a lie. You were only with me until 3:41 before leaving to meet up with Junko.

  
**X:** aweeeee :( mom caught me!

  
**X:** yeah, i was with junko until about 4:10!

  
**X:** i hate her! she's totally scummy!

  
**Delete yourself:** Agreed. Mukuro is okay though.

  
**X:** muku is super cute! too bad she's got a big blonde demon attached to her hip all the time :(

  
**Nonsense speaker:** Alright, guys, we're trying to find out who killed Kiibo. Not who can kill Junko.

  
**PanicMania:** So, Kokichi's alibi is centered around Kirumi and Junko... I'm kind of terrified of Junko, so I guess we'll have to just trust him for now

  
**Kiyo:** Big words, Shuuichi.

  
**Kiyo:** But as my alibi, after class ended I immediately left the campus to visit my sister.

  
**Nonsense speaker:** Oh! I can vouch for that! I saw him walking down the hall with his bag while I was in the music room with Sayaka and Ibuki!

  
**Nonsense speaker:** He only has that bag when he leaves the school!

  
**Kiyo:** I'm..... surprised that you noticed that.

  
**Nonsense speaker:** I pay a lot of attention to you guys! I have to make sure you're all okay, after all :-)

  
**Les bien:** Aaaaaa!!!!! Kaede is so kind and caring!!!!!! Oh, and Tenko has an alibi for both her and Himiko! We were in Tenko's room the entire time after class !

  
**Bill Cipher:** right,,,,,,,,

  
**PanicMania:** That's Tenko, Himiko, Kaede, Shinguuji, and Kokichi who have alibis now

  
**Delete yourself:** Kaede? When did Kaede give an alibi?

  
**PanicMania:** She said that she was in the music room with Sayaka and Ibuki, haha. They usually meet up after class ends and go to the music room, where they stay until around 5:30.

  
**AstroBoy:** Damn lol. How'd you figure that out

  
**PanicMania:** Ive spent time after class with them tons of times. It's pretty clear that Sayaka doesn't mess around with schedules, which means that if Kaede was there when Shinguuji left, she's still there now.

  
**Nonsense speaker:** Wow! No wonder they call you the ultimate detective!! I actually am still in the music room, haha

  
**PanicMania:** Ah, it was just an educated guess.....

  
**Delete yourself:** Whatever. I was with Tsumugi and Rantarou in the cafeteria after class.

  
**guacamole:** you still are lol

  
**Delete yourself:** How would you know ? You've been smoking so much weed that I'm shocked you're even able to type right now

  
**BOOB:** weed?

  
**guacamole:** _MAKI_

  
**Delete yourself:** Yeah

  
**Mom:** Rantarou?

  
**guacamole:** MOM ITS NOT WHAT YOU THINK

  
**Wrightworth:** THATS WHAT YOU GET FOR YOUR COMMENTARY ON "UNHEALTHY SHIPS" YOU NORMIE FOOL

  
**PanicMania:** Alibis gathered for Maki, Rantarou, and Tsumugi....

  
**Hoshi:** fuck this. im not going back to jail.

  
**Hoshi:** me and gonta were were in the greenhouse after class

  
**Grasshopper:** Yes!!! Gonta and Ryouma were having fun with Gonta's bug friends!!!

  
**Mom:** I can confirm this. I saw the two of them together as I was taking out some garbage.

  
**PanicMania:** Gonta and Ryouma are clear for now!

  
**PanicMania:** And I doubt that Kirumi could have murdered Kiibo in cold blood..... but still. Guilty until proven innocent, I guess?

  
**X:** ooooo this is super hot! ive always had a detective kink, and shuu is pulling it off suuuper well!

  
**Atitty:** That's nasty :-/

  
**Atitty:** Oh, and Shuuichi! Angie was painting the entire time after class!

  
**guacamole:** y

  
**Atitty:** She has to pay the bills somehow lol

  
**Kiyo:** Our entire school experience is paid for, though?

  
**Atitty:** No, not school bills! Angie has to pay the bills for her penthouse in heaven!

  
**Atitty:** Salvation isn't cheap!

  
**X:** wow good thing im an atheist.... i don't think i could afford the holy grail that they sell at heavens megamart

  
**Atitty:** Well, lucky for Kokichi, hell has free residence  <3

  
**X:** ah

  
**guacamole:** GET SNATCHED HDGDHGHH

  
**BOOB:** GET FCKIN PWNED BITCH GFFFCFCGHDHTHDYFHVGVV

  
**Bill Cipher:** angie just killed kokichi,,,,,,, thank atua,,,,,,,,,,

  
**Les bien:** Another degenerate dead....... we are truly blessed

  
**Beepity Boppity Boop:** hEAhaAhahahahahahahahagagahahahagahahahahahaHAaHAHAHAH

  
**BOOB:** see even kiibs is laughing at the twinks murder

  
**X:** wow. everyone is so meagn t mee? i camwe t this schol to get a friensd?? wow..

  
**AstroBoy:** Crytyping.....

  
**X:** ughgggUGWAAAAAAAAA

  
**AstroBoy:** CRYTYPING

  
**PanicMania:** Um.... guys......

  
**X:** EVREYONE IS SO MEANG????? IMBNHNJUH HHHH

  
**PanicMania:** UM..... GUYS........

  
**AstroBoy:** KOKICHI SHUT UP

  
**AstroBoy:** Yea sidekick?

  
**PanicMania:** You didn't have to go all caps.....

  
**PanicMania:** But thanks.

  
**PanicMania:** I was just wondering if we were actually going to finish the Kiibo thing?

  
**X:** nah we're over it

  
**BOOB:** shut ur fuck we aren't done until the dickmunch that killed kiibo is executed

  
**BOOB:** oh and i was with kiibs until after 3:30 because i had to take a leak  & then i went to my room so don't even think of blaming me, u limp dicked pussies

  
**Nonsense speaker:** Okay.... So now we've gotten alibis from everyone except for Angie, Kaito, and Shuuichi.....

  
**Atitty:** Angie JUST said that she's been painting since class ended

  
**Atitty:** What would she gain from killing Kiibo????????

  
**X:** fame, money, bitches

  
**Delete yourself:** Weed

  
**guacamole:** weed?

  
**Atitty:** Weed.

  
**PanicMania:** Ah, well. I guess I'll clear you for now.... Tenko will probably kill me if I don't.

  
**Les bien:** The men are learning.....

  
**PanicMania:** And to wrap it up, Kaito and I have been together since the end of class.

  
**AstroBoy:** Hell yeah!

  
**Nonsense speaker:** But doesn't that mean...?

  
**PanicMania:** Yeah.... that means that we all have alibis.

  
**PanicMania:** Even if some of them are. Sort of weak

  
**BOOB:** fuck u

  
**X:** :33

  
**Atitty:** <3

  
**Mom:** I'm part of this group as well, aren't I?

  
**PanicMania:** That's... odd, I guess. Miu said that she went to the bathroom around 3:30, and that's when she separated from Kiibo. So it was from some time between 3:30 and 4:20 that he was killed.

  
**PanicMania:** That doesn't really narrow down the time slot, though, because we got out of class around 3:15.

  
**BOOB:** yeah, and??????,

  
**PanicMania:** Well, did anyone see him after 3:30????

  
**Grasshopper:** Oh, Gonta saw Kiibo walking with Kazuichi while he was with Ryouma!!!!

  
**BOOB:** BITCH THATS A CLUE

  
**BOOB:** IM ADDING HIM

  
**X:** zoinks!!!!

  
~ _**BOOB** has added **sharkshark** to the chat_ ~

  
**BOOB:** FESS UP, PISS BABY

  
**sharkshark:** whwhat

  
**sharkshark:** The FUCK ????

  
**BOOB:** TELL US WHAT YOUVE DONE

  
**Nonsense speaker:** MIU!!!!!

  
**BOOB:** TELL US, LITTLE COCK

  
**sharkshark:** WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING

  
**PanicMania:** Miu, you need to stop! He doesn't even know what's happening!

  
**BOOB:** fuck off shyhara we're finding out who killed kiibs even if it kills me

  
**sharkshark:** woah woah what?

  
**sharkshark:** kiibo is DEAD??????

  
**X:** Don't play innocent! You know who killed him, don't you?! Tell us, Kazuichi! Was it you, or was it Nagito, or was it me?!?!?! Tell us, COWARD!!!!!

  
**PanicMania:**  KOKICHI

  
**BOOB:** BARK, PUGLY. TELL US.

  
**Nonsense** **speaker:** MIU, PLEASE!!!!!!!!!

  
**AstroBoy:**  This is a disaster

  
**guacamole:**  this is so fuckign funny wtf are you saying

  
**PanicMania:**  God...

  
**Atitty:** Not even Atua can save us now.......

  
**sharkshark:** um. what's happening.?

  
**PanicMania:**  Sorry, Kazuichi.... Kiibo has been, well.

  
**PanicMania:** Malfunctioning, and Gonta said that he saw you with him earlier. We want to know whats going down.

  
**Beepity** **Boppity** **Boop:**  BIIBIBINNNNNNNNNNN BimBO.

  
**sharkshark:** o? kiibo is fucking up? i mean, i spilled orange juice on him earlier, but i thought i fixed him?

  
**BOOB:**  you what

  
**Delete** **yourself:**  Oh my god

  
**Bill Cipher:** the mystery is solved,,,,,, i guess,,,,,,,,?

  
**Kiyo:** What a terrible ending....

  
**Wrightworth:** Exactly wtf 1/10 would not watch again

  
**BOOB:** what the shit were you doing with orange juice and kiibs

  
**sharkshark:** i was holding hajimes orange juice and kind of just. spilled it on him.

  
**Nonsense** **speaker:**  Elaborate, please

  
**sharkshark:** we were in the classroom and ??? hajime was like "broski, hold my juice i gotta go talk to izuru" so i did bc hes my bro, yeah? and then kiibo was all like "don't spill that on me please" and uhhhhhh. i did

  
**X:**  this is really funny but also the most disappointing thing ive ever witnessed

  
**X:**  and ive seen myself in the mirror before, so that's really saying something

  
**sharkshark:**  yeah whatever. ive confessed so can i leave now?

  
**PanicMania:**  Ugh..... yeah, whatever.....

  
**AstroBoy:**  That was a really upset answer

  
**sharkshark:**  what's wrong????

  
~ _**PanicMania** has kicked **sharkshark**_ _from_ _the_ _chat_ ~

  
**guacamole:** um is he okay

  
**Nonsense** **speaker:** Idk hold on

  
**Nonsense speaker:** Hey.... Shuuichi......... are you okay?

  
**PanicMania:** Yeah? Why _fucking_ wouldn't I be

  
**AstroBoy:**  Im in the same room as you and you look more murderous than I've ever seen before

  
**PanicMania:**  Im just a little irked that i spent almost uhhh 3 hours solving a goddamn mystery that was solved in one second when Kazuichi came in and talked about orange juice! I mean other than that I'm totally fine!

  
**Hoshi:**  kind of uncomfortable now but that's just life y'know?

  
**PanicMania:**  Yeah. That's just life. Yeah.

  
**Wrightworth:** This is really ooc :/

  
**PanicMania:** I usually wouldn't be this upset but after having Miu yell about justice for Kiibo for so long, only to find out that he was just malfunctioning because some moron spilled juice on him is. a bit infuriating :-)

  
**Les** **bien:** Degenerate male has breakdown on camera

  
**Grasshopper:**  Oh no, is Shuuichi upset? Please be happy! Gonta not like when his friends are sad!

  
**PanicMania:**  And suddenly..... Im in a much better mood

  
**Mom:** That's Gonta's healing power at work.

  
**BOOB:** alright you nasties!!!!!!

  
**BOOB:** ive located kiibs and im going to start repairing him now ! see you fuckers later!

  
**Beepity Boppity Boop:** sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss s

  
**BOOB:** right! adios!

  
**X:** im going to kill kazuichi haha

  
**X:** but like. for the vine, you know?

  
**PanicMania:** Do it

  
**Hoshi:** kill me too

  
**Nonsense** **speaker:** No one is killing or being killed!!!!

  
**Nonsense speaker:** Being a class mom is exhausting...... idk how Kirumi does it...

  
**Mom:**  Would you like to know my life hack?

  
**Nonsense speaker:**  Of course!!!!

  
**Mom:**  Dissociation.

  
**Nonsense** **speaker:** O. Oh.

  
**PanicMania:** That's my life hack too

  
**Hoshi:**  hey mine as well

  
**Nonsense speaker:**  And suddenly Im very worried about you three

  
**Mom:** Don't be. At least we aren't high off our asses.

  
**guacamole:** do u expect me to take offense 2 that ? my weed enriched lifestyle is very healthy ill have u kno.

  
**Delete** **yourself:** You just pointed at Teruteru and called him "Saucy round boy" with no context

  
**AstroBoy:** Healthy lifestyle all right

  
**guacamole:** but am i wrong. saucy round boy

  
**Nonsense** **speaker:** Yeah, I think we need to end this here before Rantarou somehow unlocks the secrets of the universe

  
**guacamole:** every yea.r we pass our death date without even knowing it

  
**Nonsense** **speaker:** OKAY THEN THAT IS ALL

  
**guacamole:** dopamine

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ye so how'd you like that there Ultra Rushed Ending? pretty Bangin Awesome Dude, right ?


	3. hole in the wall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Delete yourself: This has taken years off of my lifespan 
> 
> Grasshopper: The lifespan of a Grasshopper is one year!
> 
> Delete yourself: Thank you Gonta

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol how long has it been since i updated 
> 
> urk im sorry for the long wait but ! i drew something this chapter even though it's a little. off bc my ipad isn't really that gr8 and i don't have a tablet heh. ALSO PLEASE DONT MIND THE LINK ITS !!!!!! SO EMBARRASSING! idk how to use ao3 yet so i just linked it to my deviantart i made 2 years ago,,,, UGH HHHH
> 
> anyways enjoy i guess (● ˃̶͈̀ロ˂̶͈́)੭ꠥ⁾⁾

  
{ _7:43 PM - Saturday_ }

  
**"bussy"**

  
**X:** hewwo everyone!

  
**guacamole:** hey babe

  
**Grasshopper:** Hey babe!

  
**X:** sorry who tf

  
**Hoshi:** he's repeating what you say like a toddler lol

  
**Nonsense speaker:** I thought I told you guys to stop harassing Gonta!

  
**X:** um k kayayday we literally didn't do anything but go off

  
**AstroBoy:** U had a bad day huh kokichi

  
**Kiyo:** Yes, actually.

  
**X:** since when is your name kokichi bitch

  
**Hoshi:** they aren't even similar

  
**Atitty:** They both start with K tho  
:3 ?

  
**Delete yourself:** Sound logic I guess

  
**Beepity Boppity Boop:** Ah, people are showing up! H-Hewwo?

  
**X:** oh yesh, hewwo?

  
**BOOB:** the fucks going on now

  
**Beepity Boppity Boop:** Hewwo? Hewwo?!?

  
**guacamole:** sorry but are you sure you fixed him miu bc this is a little odd

  
**BOOB:** BITCH ARE YOU DOUBTING MY GENIUS

  
**BOOB:** OF COURSE I FIXED HIM YOU FUCKIN PIXELATED ANIME BOY SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTH

  
**guacamole:** ah sorry

  
**Nonsense speaker:** Yikes you guys need to calm down

  
**Beepity Boppity Boop:** Indeed! Miu! I was simply making a joke! There is no need to be so rude!

  
**BOOB:** eek

  
**Kiyo:** Anyhow, ignoring this new breed of ignorance! So, today I decided to head into my room as per usual and opened the door only to find something truly incredible.

  
**PanicMania:** Which clickbait article is this?

  
**Kiyo:** One that I'm trying to explain at the moment, so please cease your typing!

  
**Delete yourself:** Shade but with flare

  
**Kiyo:** Hmm, yes. So, anyways. When I opened my door all I could see were the well-endowed breasts of a woman.

  
**BOOB:** GOD i wish that were me

  
**X:** ew boobs are gross

  
**Mom:** So says the gay man.

  
**X:** yea

  
**Kiyo:** It seems that Junko broke into my room for reasons that I'm too afraid to discover.

  
**guacamole:** did she want to eat your pussy

  
**Kiyo:** My what.

  
**Atitty:** Your pussy!

  
**Atitty:** Kiyo's pussy!

  
**X:** kiyos pussy w the piercing

  
**guacamole:** do you think kiyo would get a pussy piercing

  
**Nonsense speaker:** He seems more like a thong-wearer imo

  
**Hoshi:** a piercing doesn't sound too far out of the ballpark for him though, does it?

  
**Kiyo:** Can we please stop talking about my nonexistent pussy?

  
**AstroBoy:** Dude do you shave or wax it? What pattern? Like, is there a star or something shaved into it? ???? We want answers

  
**guacamole:** LITERALLY SHUT UP KAITO IM CRYING FGFDGZGCBGH

  
**Kiyo:** Me as well...

  
**PanicMania:** Anyways, putting Kiyo's pussy to the side... Why was Junko in your room?

  
**Kiyo:** I'm not quite sure, actually. Though if you would've read the chat earlier you should have known that.

  
**X:** shade throwing aside as well...,, was it porn? did she want your porn?

  
**Les bien:** Eugh! If that degenerate is hiding porn in his room Tenko needs to castrate him!!!!! To think that he would be doing the nasty so close to the girls!

  
**Les bien:** Tenko feels sick just thinking about it......

  
**guacamole:** im begging you can we move away from the pussy dick subject

  
**Hoshi:** yeah this is starting to get a little weird

  
**Delete yourself:** "A little weird"

  
**Delete yourself:** Lol

  
**Nonsense speaker:** Anyways, Junko being in your room is a little, um, odd?

  
**Mom:** She wasn't cleaning it, that much is certain. I visited it earlier and it was its usual mess.

  
**Wrightworth:** How much of a mess is Kiyo's room....?

  
**Kiyo:** I have many items of interest for my private studies in my room. It can seem like quite a mess to those who aren't used to it.

  
**X:** oh, so you've got dis dick in your room?

  
**Kiyo:** No.

  
**BOOB:** how about DEEZ NUTS?

  
**Kiyo:** No.

  
**AstroBoy:** Estas tetas?

  
**Mom:** ....That translates to "these tits".

  
**BOOB:** IM SVRWABHHJCNYYYHDYFGGVJKJ

  
**X:** THTHESE TITS

  
**BOOB:** TATAS

  
~ _**BOOB** has changed their name to **ESTAS TETAS**_ ~

  
**Kiyo:** I don't have "these tits" in my room, Kaito.

  
**Atitty:** Angie's tits?

  
**Kiyo:** Not currently.

  
**ESTAS TETAS:** what

  
**ESTAS TETAS:** WHAT

  
**Atitty:** Angie will fix that! She's coming over!

  
**Kiyo:** Alright.

  
**Nonsense speaker:** :-)

  
**PanicMania:** Good luck you two. She's got her sights locked onto you

  
**X:** kiyo are you hiding the vape?

  
**Kiyo:** Good guess, but no. I honestly have no clue what she was looking for.

  
**Wrightworth:** The full set of collectors edition Fruits Basket?

  
**Kiyo:** Not likely, but thank you for reminding me that I have that. I'll return it to you soon.

  
**X:** im so stressed. what is it please im beggi

  
**ESTAS TETAS:** who has junkies # we need to find tf out rn

  
**Wrightworth:** Oh, me!

  
**PanicMania:** Could you ass her?

  
**PanicMania:** *add, sorry

  
**Wrightworth:** Yeah I'll ass her in a sec

  
~ _**Wrightworth** has changed PanicMania's name to **Ass Her**_ ~

  
**Ass Her:** Wow thanks for pointing out my embarrassing mistake! It really helps with my self confidence issues!

  
**AstroBoy:** I got u fam

  
~ _**AstroBoy** has changed their name to **AsstroBoy** _ ~

  
**AsstroBoy:** Now we match and suffer together!

  
**Delete yourself:** You could have just changed his name back but k.

  
**AsstroBoy:** Harumaki stfu

  
**AsstroBoy:** IN A NICE WAY

  
**Delete yourself:**

  
**AsstroBoy:** I SAID IN A NICE WAY IM SORRY

  
**Delete yourself:** The fact that you're freaking out is unbelievably sad

  
**Ass Her:** Thanks for the sentiment anyways Kaito lol

  
**AsstroBoy:** NO probleM'b

  
**AsstroBoy:** Nop rob

  
**X:** lol

  
~ _**Wrightworth** has added **Junkho** to the chat_ ~

  
**Junkho:** Lol the fuck is this?

  
**Junkho:** Tsu, are you fucking with me? I know you said you'd add me to something but I thought it would be some of your weeb shit chats lmao

  
**guacamole:** nah we just wanted to know what you were doing in kiyos room

  
**Kiyo:** Yes, that. Could you please tell me what was happening there?

  
**Junkho:** Gosh, I wonder!

  
**Junkho:** Wouldn't it be cool if you found out on your own!!!!!!

  
**Junkho:** Maybe you should check under your bed tho~~ how about in your closet? Maybe in the ceiling? Well, who knows lololol

  
**Junkho:** Anywayssss, happy searching~!! Peaceeee!! ( ✌︎'ω')✌︎

  
~ _**Junkho** has left the chat_ ~

  
**X:** god i hate her

  
**guacamole:** me too

  
**Wrightworth:** You guys know that she's my friend right

  
**X:** still hate her

  
**Ass Her:** Ngl me too

  
**Kiyo:** I'm less concerned with my hatred for her and more concerned with the fact that she probably set up a bomb in my room.

  
**Atitty:** Angie thinks you should check in the walls!

  
**ESTAS TETAS:** literally why

  
**Atitty:** Because Atua wills it, duh!

  
**Atitty:** Also because she might have hidden the bomb there!

  
**Mom:** Please do not break apart the wall to access a bomb.

  
**X:** BREAK APART THE WALL TO ACCESS A BOMB

  
**ESTAS TETAS:** BREAK APART THE WALL TO ACCESS A BOMB

  
**Hoshi:** BREAK APART THE WALL TO ACCESS A BOMB

  
**Kiyo:** I refuse.

  
**X:** DO IT

  
**AsstroBoy:** DOO ITTTT

  
**Nonsense speaker:** NO DONT

  
**Nonsense speaker:** WE CANT AFFORD TO PAY FOR DAMAGES

  
**Grasshopper:**??? Wont a bomb do more damage ?

  
**guacamole:**....i mean. hes not wrong

  
**Nonsense speaker:** WE ARENT BREAKING APART THE WALL

  
**Wrightworth:** Right! We aren't Titans!

  
**Les bien:** Ehhh Tenko is actually for the idea

  
**Les bien:** If its that degenerates room why should she care ???

  
**Bill Cipher:** actually,,,,,, which wall would you be tearing down,,,,,?

  
**Bill Cipher:** because,,,,,,, uh,,,, my room is on the left of yours, kiyo,,,,,,,,,

  
**Les bien:** TENKO RETRACTS HER STATEMENT. TOUCH THE WALL AND YOU DIE, MALE SCUM

  
**Kiyo:** I wasn't planning on....

  
**Kiyo:** You know what? I'm damn tired of this shit. Rip the motherfucker down.

  
**Atitty:** Angie is on it!!!!!!! Let her get her art supplies!

  
**Nonsense speaker:** N O

  
**X:** i cant believe kiyo just snapped

  
**Kiyo:** I haven't snapped. Im simply taking action.

  
**Atitty:** Angie has her sculpting supplies!!! She uuuuuusually wouldn't use them like this but ! Atua says that this is the right thing to do!

  
**Kiyo:** Thank you.

  
**Beepity Boppity Boop:** I'm very confused

  
**Ass her:** Aren't we all

  
**X:** im not!

  
**Ass her:** Then perish.

  
**X:** D:

  
**Kiyo:** Anyhow, Angie and I are going to begin tearing down the walls now. Thank you all for your support!

  
~ _**Kiyo** has gone offline_ ~

  
**Nonsense speaker:** NO NO NO

  
**Nonsense speaker:** IM COMING TO YOUR ROOM !!! ANGIE DONT DO ANYTHING

  
**Atitty:** Angie makes no promises!

  
**guacamole:** omg i want to see this

  
**X:** but babie we were eating kale chips :,(

  
**AsstroBoy:** Bring them with you lmao

  
**X:** ! good idea ! im coming w u rantarou!

  
**Delete yourself:** Why is this our only joy in life smh

  
**Delete yourself:** Watching one of our own fall apart and destroy property

  
**Hoshi:** hey that happens to me everyday it's not that big of a deal. it's just depression

  
**X:** omg me 2 it's called bipolar disorder

  
**Ass her:** Kids, could you lighten up a little?

  
**Delete yourself:** You've literally got anxiety and depression

  
**Ass her:** You do make a fair case but let me point out this:

  
**Ass her:** Gay?

  
**Delete yourself:** Yes please. Thank you

  
**guacamole:** OH MY FUCKING GOD YOU GUYS

  
**X:** I JUST DROPPED MY KALE CHIPS

  
**AsstroBoy:** WTF HAPPENED

  
**ESTAS TETAS:** ORGY?

  
**Delete yourself:** Murder?

  
**Nonsense speaker:** ....Guys.... I didn't make it in time.

  
**Bill Cipher:** th,,,,, there's a hole in my wall,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

  
**Atitty:** FOR THE MATRIARCHY

  
**Atitty:** AND FOR ATUA

  
**Les bien:** You. You put a hole in Himiko's wall..

  
**Les bien:** Fucking degenerate...

  
~ _**Kiyo** has come online_ ~

  
**Kiyo:** I have never felt more joyful in my life.

  
**Nonsense speaker:** Ive never felt more sick in my life

  
**Les bien:** Oh. So you've wronged Kaede too.

  
**Les bien:** That's two too many girls, degenerate. Tenko is coming for you.

  
**Delete yourself:** Hmm. This isn't going to end well.

  
**Grasshopper:** Gonta heard a loud noise so he came out his room and... Kiyo is laughing very hard and Angie is praying?

  
**Grasshopper:** Oh!!!!!! Gonta can see Himiko through hole in wall! Hello Himiko!

  
**Bill Cipher:** hey gonta,,, want to come through the wall and watch pmmm with me,,,,,?

  
**Grasshopper:** Gonta would like that!!!!

  
**Beepity Boppity Boop:** I believe Tenko just ran past me full speed? She looked quite angry

  
**Nonsense speaker:** ohh GOD

  
**X:** IM FUCKIGN SHREIKING

  
**guacamole:** AFFGGFHVVVVGVHHVVGHH

  
**guacamole:[FUCK.png](http://fav.me/dc4enlg)**

  
**Ass her:** OH MY G

  
**AsstroBoy:** FUCK FUCK

  
**Delete yourself:** LOOK AT KAEDE

  
**ESTAS TETAS:** HIMIKO IN YHE BACKGROUND FUKKKKKK

  
**Atitty:**!!! Angie is in the background!

  
**guacamole:** WITH A BIG ASS HAMMER

  
**Hoshi:** holy fucking shit this is a ride

  
**Grasshopper:** KIYO IS DEAD?!?!?!?!

  
**Mom:** No, Gonta, he's alive. However, I'm afraid to say that some people in this chat won't be after I'm done with them.

  
**X:** MOM I DIDNT MEAN IT PLEAS DONT KILL ME

  
**Bill Cipher:** tenko killed him not me

  
**guacamole:** oh my god she's not even talking with the ,,,, anymore

  
**Les bien:** Tenko defeated the evil.

  
**AsstroBoy:** HELL YEAH

  
**Nonsense speaker:** I

  
**Nonsense speaker:** I ALMOST DIED

  
**Bill Cipher:** you dropped like a bag of rocks,,,,,, tenko wasnt even that close to you,,,,,,,,,

  
**Bill Cipher:** also im just noticing how small that hole is,,,,,,,,

  
**Atitty:** Angie wasn't done making the hole!!! She was heading over with the hammer when the murder happened!

  
**Ass her:** Honestly im just glad you're on the other side of the room from the wall or else there would've been a real murder

  
**Bill Cipher:** i prepared for the worst,,,,

  
**Hoshi:** i hate this. why are we almost killing each other

  
**Kiyo:** That's just how it be on this bitch of an earth ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 

 **X:** dam. u's right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> will mom kill everyone? will kiyo sustain brain damage?? will junko's surprise ever be discovered??? find out on the next episode of dragon ball z


	4. sips tea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kiyo: Tuesday is the only day that matters.
> 
> Nonsense Speaker: Why do you say that?
> 
> Kiyo: No idea. I just agreed with the statement when I saw it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i know it's been like 500 years but i do have a good explanation. that explanation is that i have no explanation and am just a lazy asshat. anyways plox enjoy chapter 4 :)

  
{ **9:23 PM - Saturday** }

  
**"bussy"**

**  
Nonsense speaker:** K so let's go over what's gone wrong here.

  
 **Nonsense speaker:** First of all, there's a hole in the wall. Second of all, Kiyo has probably gotten brain damage. And third of all, we still haven't found out what Junko put in his room.

  
 **Atitty:** Its a bomb!

  
 **Nonsense speaker:** It's not a bomb,

  
 **Delete yourself:** It's a bomb.

  
 **X:** definitely a bomb

  
 **Bill Cipher:** ,,,,undoubtedly a bomb,,

  
 **Ass Her:** Probably a bomb.

  
 **Nonsense speaker:** ITS NOT A BOMB,

  
 **Nonsense speaker:** And even if it is, WHICH IT'S NOT, we cant keep destroying school property. Just look under the bed or something

  
 **Hoshi:** whats a bed

  
 **Grasshopper:** A bed is what you sleep in!

  
 **Hoshi:** thats right gonta.. thank u

  
 **Kiyo:** lmao

  
 **guacamole:** ah

  
 **guacamole:** did kiyo just

  
 **Nonsense speaker:** He did indeed

  
 **Kiyo:** Did Kiyo just what

  
 **Les Bien:** Tenko thinks she may have done permanent damage?

  
 **Mom:** Kirumi thinks Tenko will be paying for Kiyo's hospital bills.

  
 **X:** this is hopes peak you don't have to pay for shit

  
 **guacamole:** this is america *shoots kiyo to put him out of his misery*

  
 **AsstroBoy:** Yall know we should probably actually look into this Junko thing without blowing it out of proportion like we always do

  
 **X:** i was gonna say "you can blow me out of proportion" but that hits a little too close to my gay home

  
 **Mom:** Ignoring how thirsty you are, Kaito is right. I'm going to be heading over and you all best hope that Kiyo doesn't have to see Ms. Kanata for immediate care.

  
 **guacamole:** wouldn't he have to go see Yasuke for that sort of thing? can kanata even do brain surgery.

  
 **X:** if i can give a lobotomy she can do brain surgery

  
 **Nonsense speaker:** You cant do a lobotomy, Kokichi

  
 **X:** oh. then i suppose she may not be able to.

  
 **Grasshopper:** Gonta is sure Kokichi could do a lobotomy if he tried! Although Gonta isn't sure what a lobotomy is...

  
 **X:** hey gonta if u let me try to do 1 on u then ill tell u what it is lol

  
 **Ass Her:** Please Don't Preform A Lobotomy On Gonta.

  
 **Nonsense speaker:** WE'RE GETTING OFF TOPIC. NO LOBOTOMIES. NO BRAIN SURGERY. JUST FINDING OUT IF KIYOS HURT TOO BADLY AND FINDING OUT WHAT'S IN HIS ROOM.

  
 **Nonsense speaker:** KIYO, STATUS UPDATE PLEASE

  
 **Kiyo:** my whole ass jaw is broken

  
 **Bill Cipher:** yea,,,, i took him to mikan while u guys were giving lobotomies,,,,,,

  
 **Beepity Boppity Boop:** I suppose Kiyo is dead then.

  
~ _**Wrightworth** has changed their name to **Tododeku**_ ~

  
 **Tododeku:** Tenko broke his jaw

  
 **Les Bien:** Tenko may have broken his jaw.

  
 **Hoshi:** aren't there legal repercussions for this sort of thing

  
 **Les Bien:** Tenko may not have broken his jaw if it means she's going to jail.

  
 **Atitty:** Angie thinks that we should send Junko to jail instead!

  
 **Kiyo:** #junkoforprison2k18

  
 **Tododeku:** Why

  
 **ESTAS TETAS:** bcause shes a murderer

  
 **X:** oh sht whod she kill

  
 **ESTAS TETAS:** u

  
 **X:** fuck im dead?

  
**Delete yourself:**

  
**X:** dont say it please. i wont b able to handle the blow.

  
 **Kiyo:** look behind u

  
 **ESTAS TETAS:** did someone spill orange juice on kiyo lmaoo

  
 **Ass Her:** Dont even bring that up

  
 **Beepity Boppity Boop:** Right.

  
 **X:** the wound is still fresh...its only chapter four so i guess that makes sense!

  
 **Tododeku:** Kokichi if u dont stop with the 4th wall breaking im gonna have to kick u :/

  
 **X:** :(

  
 **AsstroBoy:** You two really weird me out sometimes

  
 **Mom:** It seems that I'll have to beat the shit out of someone.

  
 **guacamole:** WOAJ WHAT

  
 **guacamole:** WHERE DID THAT ANGER COME FROM . JUST A SUDDEN THREAT

  
 **Mom:** It's not a threat, just a fact.

  
 **X:** me 1st plx

  
**Mom:**

  
**X:** nvm

  
~ _**AsstroBoy** has changed **X's** name to **A Masochist**_ ~

  
 **A Masochist:** thanks kaito

  
 **AsstroBoy:** Np little man

  
 **Nonsense speaker:** plz investigate. kiyo may die b4 this gets solvd

  
 **Ass Her:** Okay. Before Kaede can have a full breakdown. Rantarou are you and Kokichi still at Kiyos dorm

  
 **guacamole:** yea but we're kind of sitting next to the door now instead of paying attention

  
 **Ass Her:** Cool. Go into Kiyo's room and investigate.

  
 **A Masochist:** Right After Your Boyfriend Did This To Me

  
 **AsstroBoy:** Aren't u a masochist tho

  
 **AsstroBoy:** Also hes not my bf

  
 **Delete yourself:** Yikes

  
 **A Masochist:** IM NOT A MASOCHIST

  
 **Nonsense speaker:** Really?

  
 **A Masochist:**. bye!

  
 **AsstroBoy:** A Masochist Has Gone Offline

  
 **ESTAS TETAS:** goodbye you little shit

  
 **guacamole:** so i took kaedes advice and something may or may not be under the bed.

  
 **Nonsense speaker:** ? Then look?

  
 **guacamole:** um no way

  
 **A Masochist:** dont u know that  
thats where ppl keep their vibrators

  
 **AsstroBoy:** Why are u back

  
 **ESTAS TETAS:** is that where you keep yr vibrators u unhygienic little fuck

  
 **A Masochist:** no and also big words coming from the girl who keeps her bras in the same drawer as her tools

  
 **ESTAS TETAS:** HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT

  
 **Kiyo:** >implying you have vibrators  
lol

  
 **A Masochist:** What r u going to judge me or something bondage boy

  
 **AsstroBoy:** HELLO.... WHY ARE YOU BACK

  
 **Atitty:** Angie is uncomfortable

  
 **Nonsense speaker:** Kiyo why are you even using your monopad if you're hurt

  
 **Kiyo:** mikan gave me some painkillers & put my jaw in some thing so im fuckd up but good

  
 **Bill Cipher:** he's drugged,,,

  
 **Bill Cipher:** also,,,

  
~ _**Bill Cipher** has changed **Kiyo's** name to **Bondage Boy**_ ~

  
 **Bondage Boy:** oh cool

  
 **Nonsense speaker:** Don't be a p*ssy Rantarou

  
 **guacamole:** did you just censor pussy

  
 **Nonsense speaker:** Yes, Rantarou. It's a bad fucking word

  
 **Nonsense speaker:** Now look under the bed before I snap

  
 **guacamole:** yes ma'am

  
 **Atitty:** Angie is nervous! What could it be!

  
 **Beepity Boppity Boop:** What if it really is a bomb?

  
 **Hoshi:** we'll die

  
 **Delete yourself:** Ideal scenario

  
 **Ass Her:** Edgy

  
 **Delete yourself:** Do I even have to list all the reasons why that's funny coming from you

  
 **Ass Her:** No

  
 **guacamole:** jesus christ

  
 **Nonsense speaker:**?!?? What is it?

  
 **guacamole:** it's um. its a roomba

  
 **A Masochist:** YOU FOUND K2-B0????

  
 **Beepity Boppity Boop:** I'm sorry?

  
 **ESTAS TETAS:** YOU FOUND MY DAUGHTER

  
 **guacamole:** am i missing something here. its just a roomba.

  
 **Nonsense speaker:** K2-B0? Like K1-B0?

  
 **Beepity Boppity Boop:** I'm a bit confused. Is this a robophobic joke?

  
 **A Masochist:** k2-B0 is our daughter

  
 **ESTAS TETAS:** you mean she's my daughter you deadbeat fuck of a dad

  
 **A Masochist:** YOU NEVER WON THE COURT CASE!!

  
 **ESTAS TETAS:** I MADE HER FROM SCRATCH!!!!! BITCH!!!!!! SHES MINE!!!!!!!!!!!

  
 **A Masochist:** I MADE THE BLUEPRINTS FOR HER. YOU JUST PUT IT ALL TOGETHER!! I CREATED HER CONCEPT THEREFORE I CREATED HER!!!!!!!!!!!

  
 **ESTAS TETAS:** SHE WOULDNT EXIST WITHOUT ME FUCKER. BESIDES YOURE THE ONE WHO HAD HER WHEN SHE DISAPPEARED

  
 **Ass Her:** Would you two stop and explain what's happening please

  
 **A Masochist:** oh yeah sure. so miu and i made a roomba with all the regular functions of a roomba except for a few

  
 **A Masochist:** a) she has extendable legs. b) she has feelings. c) she is installed with a taser for self defense. d) she has a go pro installed. and e) she comes with a knife

  
 **Les Bien:** A knife

  
 **ESTAS TETAS:** hell yeah a knife. you think id let my daughter walk around defenseless?

  
 **Beepity Boppity Boop:** I don't understand why she's named after me though?

  
 **A Masochist:** mostly for the aesthetics but also to make fun of you

  
 **Beepity Boppity Boop:** Thank you for your honesty.

  
 **guacamole:** IT FUKIBFNG STABBED ME

  
 **ESTAS TETAS:** WOAH DONT FUCKING CALL MY DAUGHTER AN IT

  
 **guacamole:** MIU NOT THE TRIME IM BLDDEDING FRONMY STOMAC

  
 **Nonsense speaker:** OHH MY GOD KOKICHI TAKE HIM TO MIKAN

  
 **A Masochist:** for a stab wound?

  
 **Ass Her:** Kokichi,

  
 **A Masochist:** if u insist nishishi

  
 **Atitty:** Was that the surprise

  
 **AsstroBoy:** I hope not wtf

  
 **AsstroBoy:** That's a shit surprise if it is

  
 **Tododeku:** I hate to say this but have you ever met Junko. All of her surprises are shit

  
 **ESTAS TETAS:** u rite u rite

  
 **ESTAS TETAS:** anyways im goin to the nurses office to get my fuckin kid

  
 **Nonsense speaker:** Why have two of our classmates been hospitalized today im so upset

  
 **Nonsense speaker:** Hold on I need to resolve this issue

  
~ _**Nonsense speaker** has added **Egg** to the chat_ ~

  
 **Nonsense speaker:** MAKOTO IM SORRY IF YOURE BUSY BUT PLEASE HELP

  
 **Egg:** Woah what

  
 **Nonsense speaker:** Oh thank god you're online. Shuuichi can you explain what's happening

  
 **Ass Her:** Why me

  
 **Nonsense speaker:** Im Very stressed.please

  
 **Mom:** Don't worry about it, Shuuichi. I'll explain for you.

  
 **Mom:** Basically, Junko broke into Korekiyo's room and decided to leave something there. We were going to assess the situation calmly but some people couldn't take the stress and tore open the wall. Tenko punched Korekiyo and broke his jaw, Himiko took him to Mikan and we found Miu and Kokichi's missing roomba under the bed. It stabbed Rantarou and now he's with Mikan as well, I hope. Now we've contacted you.

  
 **Mom:** We sincerely hope that you'll be able to put Junko to justice.

  
 **A Masochist:** or just put her down lol

  
 **Mom:** Not the time, Kokichi.

  
 **Bill Cipher:** btw,, im back in my room now bc i couldn't leave gonta hanging,,,

  
 **Grasshopper:** Gonta wouldn't have minded! Kiyo's safety is more important!

  
 **Les Bien:** No comment

  
 **Egg:** J. Junko triggered all that

  
 **Egg:** Im so sorry I can't believe she'd do something like this!!!! Ill talk to her right now

  
 **Nonsense speaker:** It's not your fault! We just know that you're really the only one she listens to haha

  
 **Egg:** Ah, she listens to Yasuke too...

  
 **Bondage Boy:** Yasugay lol

  
 **A Masochist:** Shut your hell shingoogee

  
 **ESTAS TETAS:** yea anyways makoto if u dont beat the shit outta enoshitma ill do it myself

  
 **Egg:** No pls don't do that Miu

  
 **ESTAS TETAS:** pay for my daughters hospital bills

  
 **guacamole:** pay for MY hospital bills you sick fuck

  
 **Nonsense speaker:** Oh right. Rantarou are u okay

  
 **guacamole:** i have a stab wound but other than that im fine

  
 **A Masochist:** hes just the right height no bucket required

  
 **guacamole:** he means i don't need stitches

  
 **ESTAS TETAS:** mikan pissed her pants lmfao

  
**Egg:**

  
**Ass Her:** We're going to remove you now. Staying here for too long is bad for your mental health

  
 **Mom:** Please just... take care of Junko.

  
 **A Masochist:** Hunko

  
 **Atitty:** Her muscles outweigh her sins

  
 **Egg:** Ok Please remove me

  
~ _**Nonsense speaker** has removed **Egg** from the chat_ ~

  
 **Hoshi:** take me with you..

  
 **A Masochist:** pic of crying cat

  
 **Bill Cipher:** ,,,just send the pic,,,,

  
 **A Masochist:** you think i have the money to do that

  
 **Nonsense speaker:** There's. No price to send pictures,

  
 **Nonsense Speaker:** Never mind! We've sicked Egg boy on Junko, gotten Kiyo and Rantarou to Mikan, found the roomba,

  
 **ESTAS TETAS:** K2-B0

  
 **Nonsense speaker:** found K2-B0, and um. Whats left

  
 **Mom:** We still have punishments to deal out, of course. I suppose we'll have to repair the wall too.

  
 **Bill Cipher:** idk,,,, its kind of nice,,,, like a window,,,,,

  
 **Bondage Boy:** im down for the window project

  
 **Ass Her:** We aren't leaving the hole in the wall.

  
 **Bondage Boy:** lets just put some curtains over irfhfhdhdurgdnsf

  
 **Delete yourself:** Did he fucking die

  
 **Bondage Boy:** sorry dropped my phone lol

  
 **AsstroBoy:** You guys want my extra space curtains? I bought more than necessary at The Dollar Tree

  
 **Delete yourself:** A qween shops at dollar tree

  
 **AsstroBoy:** Harumaki are u making fun of me

  
 **Delete yourself:** Yes

  
 **AsstroBoy:** That's fair

  
 **Bondage Boy:** hit us up wit those curtains fr tho

  
 **AsstroBoy:** Sorry i need Kirumi's opinion first she's really the voice of reason here

  
 **Mom:** I genuinely don't even care what you all do now. Just make sure you aren't doing anything perverse or disgusting and it's fine.

  
 **Bill Cipher:** ,,,,,im a lesbian and can and will kill kiyo

  
 **Bondage Boy:** tenko will lodge her foot into my small intestine at any given time

  
 **Les Bien:** He's right

  
 **Nonsense Speaker:** Boy am I glad that our problems have been resolved and that nothing like this will ever happen again

  
 **Tododeku:** Haha me too /sweats

  
 **guacamole:** y did you do that

  
 **Tododeku:** Do what /glances to the side

  
 **guacamole:** that that weird roleplay shit

  
 **Tododeku:** Idk what you're talking about /gestures for the sniper to take the shot

  
 **guacamole:** im going to wild out if u dont stop. u fucking mook

  
 **Tododeku:** Mook

  
 **Mom:** Please go to bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> is tsumugi foreshadowing or just being vague? considering that i never plan ahead, its a Mystery for now. anyways, thank u guys for all the kudos and comments!! every time i see them i scream! till next time bruvs :))
> 
> (btw Kanata isnt an OC! I didn't feel like adding in my own fan character's name bc.. i dont make them? shes the ultimate surgeon from the korean fangame Danganronpa Another: despair academy. it isn't translated to english but its really well made & i recommend u to check it out if u haven't heard of it! ((theres also a Sequel, Super Danganronpa Another 2 which is more popular i believe? the 3rd chapter of that one fuckt me up smh.)))

**Author's Note:**

> usernames:
> 
> Kiibo - Beepity Boppity Boop
> 
> Ouma - X
> 
> Saihara - Emo/PanicMania
> 
> Akamatsu - Nonsense speaker 
> 
> Angie - Atua sux/Angie/Atitty
> 
> Tenko - Les bien 
> 
> Yumeno - Bill Cipher 
> 
> Shinguuji - Granddaddy Longleg/Kiyo
> 
> Amami - dick piercing/guacamole 
> 
> Shirogane - watashi wa is kawaii desu ne~~~~!!!!/Suzalulu/Wrightworth
> 
> Momota - flat earther/AstroBoy
> 
> Harukawa - Get sprung/Maki/Delete yourself
> 
> Iruma - BOOB
> 
> Gonta - COCKroach/Grasshopper 
> 
> Toujo - Mom
> 
> Hoshi - one inch tall/Hoshi


End file.
